These NAPLAN writing sample answers show what a response to the same prompt can look like at different levels, from Developing to Strong to Exceeding. Seeing the differences side by side is one of the best ways to understand the marking criteria and show your child what the next step looks like. All samples on this page are original, written by MyNaplan at a Year 5 standard.
Please note: NAPLAN proficiency levels are reported for the whole writing test, not attached to individual pieces. The labels here are a guide to what writing at each level typically looks like. For officially marked scripts, see the annotated samples in ACARA’s persuasive marking guide and narrative marking guide.
Persuasive writing examples
Prompt: “Should children be allowed to bring toys to school?”
Developing
I think kids should bring toys to school because it is fun. toys are fun and we can play with them at lunch. My frend has lots of toys and he wants to bring them. if we bring toys we will be happy and that is good. Teachers should let us bring toys becuase its fair.
What markers would notice: a clear opinion, but reasons are repeated rather than developed, there are no paragraphs, and there are errors in capital letters and spelling (“frend”, “becuase”). Next step: give two different reasons, each with an example, in separate paragraphs.
Strong
Children should be allowed to bring one toy to school each week. Toys help students make friends and they can even help us learn.
Firstly, toys are a great way to make new friends. When a new student brings a soccer ball or a card game, other children can join in, and nobody is left out at lunchtime.
Secondly, some toys help us learn. Building blocks teach us about shapes and balance, and puzzles make us think carefully. Wouldn’t it be good to learn while having fun?
In conclusion, one toy a week would make school friendlier and more interesting.
What markers would notice: a clear position, a logical structure with paragraphs, linking words (“Firstly”, “Secondly”, “In conclusion”) and a rhetorical question. Next step: develop each reason further and use more precise, persuasive vocabulary.
Exceeding
Picture a playground where a shy new student is suddenly surrounded by classmates, all eager to try her spinning top. Allowing children to bring one toy to school each week is a simple rule that would build friendships, spark creativity and teach responsibility.
Toys are a natural bridge between children. A deck of cards or a skipping rope gives students a reason to approach someone new, and for children who find conversation difficult, a shared game speaks for them.
Critics argue that toys will be lost, broken or fought over. However, this is exactly why the rule would be valuable: students would learn to take care of their belongings and to share fairly, lessons no worksheet can teach.
One toy, once a week, could transform our playgrounds. Surely that is worth trying.
What markers would notice: an engaging opening, a confident and consistent voice, reasons developed with detail, a rebuttal that strengthens the argument, precise vocabulary (“bridge”, “transform”) and controlled, varied sentences.
Narrative writing examples
Prompt: “The Surprise”
Developing
One day I went to the park with my mum. Then we saw a dog. The dog was big. Then we took the dog home and then it was ours. It was a good surprise. The end.
What markers would notice: a simple sequence of events, but little detail, no real problem to solve, and sentences that all begin the same way (“Then”). Next step: add a complication and show how the character feels.
Strong
Sam had been told to stay in his room all afternoon, and he was sure he was in trouble. He could hear whispering and the clink of plates downstairs.
At four o’clock, his sister knocked. “You can come out now,” she said, trying not to smile.
Sam crept down the stairs. The lounge room was dark. Suddenly the lights flicked on and twenty voices shouted, “Happy birthday!” Sam had been so worried that he had forgotten his own birthday.
What markers would notice: a clear orientation, complication and resolution, correctly punctuated dialogue, and paragraphs for each change of time and speaker. Next step: build more tension and develop the setting with sensory detail.
Exceeding
The envelope had been sitting on the kitchen bench for three days, propped against the fruit bowl like a dare. Ava’s name was written across it in Nan’s loopy blue handwriting, and Mum had said only, “Not until Saturday.”
By Saturday morning, Ava had imagined every possibility: a cheque, a secret, a treasure map. Her fingers trembled as she slid the card free.
Inside was a single photograph of a rusted red bicycle and four words: It was yours first.
Ava frowned. Then she remembered the shed at Nan’s house, the shape under the old tarpaulin, and the summer she had learnt to ride, wobbling and shrieking, while Nan ran behind her holding the seat. She was already pulling on her shoes.
What markers would notice: a compelling hook, carefully built suspense, a vivid setting and character shown through actions and thoughts, varied sentence lengths for effect, and an ending that resolves the story while leaving the reader satisfied.
What separates each proficiency level
| Skill | Developing | Strong | Exceeding |
|---|---|---|---|
| Ideas | Simple, repeated or listed | Relevant and somewhat developed | Detailed, thoughtful and well chosen |
| Structure | Little or no shape | Clear beginning, middle and end | Shape used for effect |
| Paragraphs | Few or none | Used for main sections | Used to control pace and argument |
| Vocabulary | Everyday words | Some precise choices | Precise and deliberate throughout |
| Sentences | Simple, often repetitive | Mix of simple and compound | Varied and controlled for effect |
| Punctuation and spelling | Frequent errors | Mostly accurate | Accurate, including harder words |
These differences map directly to the 10 NAPLAN criteria. See NAPLAN writing marking criteria explained and proficiency levels explained.
How to use examples with your child
- Read the Developing and Strong samples together and ask “What makes the second one better?”
- Choose one improvement to try in your child’s next piece, such as paragraphs or a stronger opening.
- Have your child rewrite a Developing sample to make it Strong. Editing someone else’s work is often easier than editing your own.
- Then try a fresh prompt from our free NAPLAN writing prompts.
Sample answers FAQs
Are these real NAPLAN student responses?
No. They’re original samples written by MyNaplan to illustrate each level. Official annotated scripts are in ACARA’s marking guides.
How long should a NAPLAN writing response be?
There’s no word limit. The Exceeding samples here are short for reading online; a strong 40-minute response is often around a page or more.
Related guides
- NAPLAN Writing: A Parent’s Guide to the Writing Test
- NAPLAN Writing Marking Criteria Explained
- NAPLAN Persuasive Writing: Examples and Tips
- NAPLAN Narrative Writing: Examples and Tips
- NAPLAN Proficiency Levels Explained
Sample answers are original and written by MyNaplan. Official marking guides © ACARA, CC BY 4.0.